This hauntingly beautiful photo is taken from my favorite scene from the poignant Japanese music video by BTS called “Film Out.” It’s a scene that I pause and ponder over for hours because it sums up the one question I’ve spent my entire life to solve: “Do all doors lead to the same destination?” And ultimately, how can free will exist with predestination?

The storyline of the music video is one of existential complexities: Jin (the boy in the photo) is a time traveler and he repeatedly travels back in time to the same day, April 11th, to save his 6 friends from what he knows is doomed destiny. Jin tries his best to alter the outcome each time, but his friends always end up with the same unfortunate fates.

Hence, the haunting scene shows Jin opening another door, only to defeatedly realize that he’s staring down at the same predestined abyss that all the other doors he has attempted lead to. What then, is the point of existence?

As a person of Buddhist-leaning faith, my belief stands somewhere between the rigid views of Essentialism embraced by Greek philosophers and the chaotic nihilistic tendencies of the German Existentialists. 

It’s no secret that I believe in reincarnation, that we’re all energies or essences or souls that occupy a chosen physical form for a while, and that the cycle of death and rebirth (Samsara) is the only way we can learn and be wiser with each life we live.

And I believe that ultimately, all souls’ purpose is to become so wise and detached from suffering that there is nothing left to learn, at which point, we can exit the cycle and simply become a drop of water that dissolves into the vast ocean of the universal force.

Buddhists call this state Nirvana or transcendence. Christians and other theist religions call it Heaven. Ultimately, I believe we’re trying to achieve the same goal: our predestination.

However, how long it takes and how many cycles it takes for each of us to reach our predestination is dependent on how fast we’re willing to learn, for there is always a lesson to learn in every circumstance. That is free will. 

And that is how I reconcile predestination and free will in my mind.