One time, I asked daddy why do our people love bitter and spicy and sour and salty flavors so much, and he said, “Because our history has been bitter and spicy and sour and salty for thousands of years, since the day we descended from the dragons and the fairies, so we’ve adapted to love these flavors in our lives.” And there is no better example of this theory than the traditional classic dish bitter melon, or “khổ qua.”

“Khổ qua” to Vietnamese is like apple pies to American. Just the name itself can be translated to “passing sorrow.” The flavor or this squash is one of the most unpleasant flavors I’ve ever come across. I don’t hate any vegetables, but I abhor khổ qua. I still can’t eat it and will never ever cook it. Perhaps, in a way, that is my subconscious way of breaking generational curse, no?

But I understand why we eat it. It grows plentiful in a land that regularly experienced war, flood and famine. It’s nutritious and is great for diabetes and cholesterol. And it’s versatile enough that we can mix it with other flavors to ease the bitterness, so we can assuage for a moment the cards we were dealt with. And eventually, we just learned to love it.

Maybe I’ll try it again in another ten years to see if my taste has changed. But for now, I won’t be cooking this bitterness anytime soon. Let the sorrow pass.