By now, it’s common knowledge in the Western world that Vietnamese (or Asians in general) say “Did You Eat Yet?” in lieu of “I Love You.” Many have turned this custom into a running joke for laughs and likes. Others have criticized this stoic practice as “un-loving” and “abnormal.” Few have actually looked deep enough into our history and culture to understand why it’s so important for our parents to confirm if we’ve eaten yet as the utmost gesture of affection.

In Vietnamese, we have a proverb, “Có thực mới vực được đạo.” By loose translation, it means “You must eat in order to conquer your study.”

“Study” here could be taken in its literal meaning: the academic education that we must conquer in order to achieve in life. But “study” can also mean any and all challenges, grief, obstacles, stress…that life throws at us.

And if you’ve followed the stories I’ve written about my family and my people, you know that for thousands of years, we’ve been constantly under the stressors of war, famine, and oppression.

So whether we’re just studying for a college entrance exam, or running from bombs, or watching French colonizers pillage and seize our homes after killing our loved ones…our ancestors knew that in order for our bodies to have strength to deal with these stressors….they must first be nourished in any way we can, even if it’s just two small bowls of porridge to split among 4 people.

So soon I’ll show you how to cook this Vietnamese-Korean pineapple and kimchi vermicelli soup fusion, while I tell you a story. And oh by the way: “Have you eaten yet?”😉